Holiday

Note To Self

taintedfishsticks 1 Comment

Dear Me,

I know things have been wonky lately, with snowstorms and power outages, and of course the whole post-holiday blahs. I’m writing to tell you that this is your current reality and you might want to think about embracing it for what it is. Right now.

It’s possible that things you feel are of utmost importance will not get done. Like the long list of ‘to dos’ that has been on your mind for the last six months. Now is not the time to insist on completing major organization projects or pull leftover weeds in the now swampy yard. You are not a bad American because you didn’t know the State of The Union was happening. Leaving the bed unmade will not upset the fung shui of the house. And you do not need to look up whether you spelled fung shui correctly. No one cares.

Your extra ‘power outage stress bloat’ will not make you eligible for Biggest Loser Season 14, but continuing to eat cupcakes and chips dipped in blue cheese dressing just might. It’s okay that the iPad just autocorrected ‘bleu’ to ‘blue’. You CAN go to the gym, and you WILL NOT die on the elliptical machine. It is not a requirement to be in top shape to exercise.

Tomorrow is a new day, but probably not the one where you are going to save the world or even leave the house. Tomorrow is another day of this current normal and its okay if you don’t do everything you think you are supposed to. The day after that shows promise, especially if you leave the house and maybe even exercise. This could even give you the desire to eat some veggies, which inevitably could lead to overall better food choices.

What I’m saying here, is you need to give yourself a break. A break from the intense pressure you put on yourself to be massively productive, always right, and a supreme example to others of perfection. This is NOT normal and can never be achieved. It’s time to sit back and live every moment right where you are. Let life happen and be an active part of your current circumstance. Give yourself grace, experience joy, and love yourself for who you are. Which is good enough for yesterday, for today, and for tomorrow.

Love,
Lori

A Former Vegan’s Guide to Thanksgiving

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Hopefully you read my previous two vegan related blogs. If not, go to the home page and read those first. I chuckle to myself (I do that a lot cause I think I’m funny) about the reference in the title that implies I WAS, in fact, vegan. The limited truth is that I sort of technically was for 17 days.

Yes, its true, I gave up on my 28 day vegan detox challenge on day 17. This was after I lost my mind and knew that the only road to sanity was a regular meal. I don’t know if you’ve ever found yourself in a place so foreign or so scary that you thought a panic attack was the least of you worries. I equate it to my first experience walking in to Forever 21 where the colors, patterns, lights, and overall disorganization gave me an instant migraine eye and possibly an aneurism. This is where I was mentally several times during the VD, (more laughing. VD = Vegan Detox) but more so on day 17.

Truth is, somewhere in the Hell that was the VD, I really did learn a few things about health, my digestive system, and my deep rooted issues with food. I learned, first hand, how certain foods actually kick colds before they turn into anything, reduce inflammation, and help me sleep better at night. I found out I’m allergic to tomatoes, raw onions, and potatoes, and that beans give me terrible gas. I lost two pounds and never felt gross or stuffed. And, finally, I realized my food choices have been based so heavily on emotion, that I have some serious work to do.

On the eve of Thanksgiving, and the official beginning of the ‘big show’ called the holiday season, visions of meals, parties, and sugarplums dance around in our heads and take over our t.v.. I never realized how important food really is to the whole show. God forbid you don’t have turkey on Thanksgiving, ham at Christmas, and champagne on New Years. Seriously, the holiday food police WILL show up at your house if you miss a beat. Let me give you something to think about. If glutinous eating is in direct correlation with memories of some of the happiest times of our life, spent with friends and family, doesn’t it make sense that we relate food to happiness? Or, perhaps, if you are like me, food can be the enemy and bring up feelings of insecurity and shame.

What I learned about my relationship to food is complicated. I learned that I want nothing more than to be in total control of what I eat and that I don’t want to believe that any of it is bad for me. I want food to fix my problems as much as I want it to fill my tummy. I am angry about all of the foods that make my face break out my stomach hurt. And, most of all, I want eating healthy to now be called eating ‘normal’ so it doesn’t sound like such a hard thing to do.

How am I guiding you to a proper Thanksgiving? I’m not. In fact, I don’t eat turkey on thanksgiving anymore because I don’t like it. Me and my family go out to dinner and eat steak. We have created our own tradition that fits us, and helps keep me away from some of my issues with food and bad memories as well. In fact, I now look forward to Thanksgiving every year only second to my birthday. My issues aside, I truly do hope everyone has a special tradition and has a tasty and enjoyable ‘turkey day’. Oh, and of you ARE Vegan, I’m sorry if you are eating a blob of tofu this year.