I should be packing. Or sorting. Or cleaning out. Or researching schools. Or helping my husband load the car with junk for the dump.

We’re moving. To Texas.

It’s been 14 years since we set roots in this small town. 14 years of our baby growing to a teen. 14 years of job and school changes. 14 years of new friends and breakups. 14 years discovering Jesus and being saved. 14 years of memories and life.

And it’s not just that we’re moving from this house or this town, but from this state and this hemisphere.  Moving from Washington State to Texas is a long haul and a radical culture shift.  Of course we don’t know which of the 400 towns in the Dallas area we might call home. Of course we haven’t a clue where our son will finish his last three years of high school. Of course we don’t know where our new church home will be. Of course we don’t know a thing.

But God knows.

God has known this for, well, EVER. Of course he doesn’t share the full detailed and bullet-pointed PowerPoint presentation with me. And that puts me in a tailspin most of the time. Sure He’s given me glimpses here and there. And He’s been REAL DIRECT with me on the fact that this IS His plan for us. But this change, this unearthing of roots that run so incredibly deep has me wondering if I am capable of following through with this one. Can He possibly be that powerful that this plan requires nothing from me but faith?

Cause I really have nothing but faith right now. (and also doubt).

The vulnerability involved in this is beyond human comprehension. And God knows this. I am increasingly aware that He is not going to allow me to control any part of this situation. But instead reveal His plan bit by bit and ask me to accept it. Of course, multiple times along the way I have thought seriously about just saying NO. But that pull inside of my heart moves me back to YES.

It’s in those moments where I feel I’m letting go of just a little more of that control I hold so tightly to.

This plan for our family has been a lifetime in the planning (for God). For us it’s been a six month journey of wondering and waiting (and praying sometimes) for this job offer. Our hearts have been preparing for this long before we every knew a huge change was on the horizon. Because when we look back we can see every experience and circumstance that has brought us right to this very moment.

And this is the kind of journey you can only experience when you are connected to God.

And while we’ve been in this holding pattern for six months, God’s continued to reveal to me the areas he wants me to work on and the places he’s already been there done that. And he reminds me that I’m not any different from anyone else (like the Israelites) in regards to worry, doubt, complaining, and lack of faith. But he’s given us the opportunity to call out to Him and to listen to his voice and his truth.

I have great plans for you.

And while I don’t have the patience to wait for these great plans, I know I have to. I have to wait. Because God is the only one who knows the perfect timing for this. And God has put dreams on my heart that he promises to fulfill. And I know that he never ever breaks a promise. And it scares me to know how BIG the plans he has for me are and that he trust me to carry them out.

And that fills my heart to know that I am that important and that loved.

And it doesn’t matter where we physically live, but that we bring God with us wherever we go. And even though it may sound silly or redundant, I’ve specifically asked him to go along with me to Texas so I don’t feel so alone in this new place. And I know He will.

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*The adorable pillow was made by our cousin Kendra. Find this and others here:
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SoVintageChic