I wrote this a few weeks ago and forgot to post it. I can say that I DID survive, DIDN’T get sick, and had an incredible trip!

I am currently 31,000 or so feet in the air. My family and I are flying to Kauai to spend the week with my sister and her family. Not a bad way to spend part of our summer vacation, and my birthday.

I threw up this morning. This followed an incredibly restless night’s sleep. I stress out way too much when it comes to air travel. Days before my flight, I start getting anxious, losing sleep, and losing my appetite. By the time we are ready to leave, the stress has taken me over physically, and, like today, I get ill.

I don’t really know what it is about air travel that gets me so wound up. I’ve been trying, for the last few years, to figure this out, with little conclusion. I have realized the airport part of it messes with me more than the flying. The time it takes to get there, park, go through security, and board the plane create the perfect anxiety storm for me. Once I board the plane, almost all of the stress disappears.

This wound up feeling has not yet deterred me from travel. I like going places too much. But each time, it seems to get worse, and each time, I feel like this will be the last time I take a trip on a plane. But, somehow, I do it again.

Often times, when I travel, I end up getting a cold or something. I think it’s almost inevitable with the germ fest of the plane, and the fact I’m flying with a compromised immune system based on the fact I haven’t slept in days. The last time we flew to Kauai, three years ago, I ended up with appendicitis. I think that’s part of why this particular trip caused me to puke.

I’m hoping that writing this down will help me process what I’ve been going through. I do know it’s time to seek help in dealing with this anxiety. Not with drugs or booze, but maybe a therapist who can help find the root of my fear.

I can honestly say, and hour into our trip, I’m comfortable, mostly calm, and excited for the memories we will make on Kauai this summer.