I’ve reached the point of parenthood where I struggle to understand my child. I know I was once a 6th grader, but I was a whole lot different than my son, and well, I was (am) a girl. If I could get inside of his head for a moment, I wonder what I might learn?

Never hang up your towel. It’s more convenient to run naked across the hall after showering to dry off in the bedroom.
Dirty clothes should go directly NEXT to the clothes hamper on the floor.
Brush your teeth as little as possible.
Saying that you brushed your teeth is the same as actually doing it.
Flat surfaces are for placing all kinds of interesting objects that you might want to keep.
Moms don’t understand why these objects are important.
Eating in front of the tv is necessary and productive, like multi-tasking.
No matter what Mom says, always freak out about it.
Telling your parents they stress you out will always get them off your back.
I am smarter than my parents and I always will be.
Note to self: when I am a grown up, I will have a garage full of Arizona Iced Tea and drink it whenever I want.
A schedule is just a rough idea of what I might feel like doing.
Cramming papers into your binder is an acceptable way to transport them to and from school.
All school work is stupid and a waste of time. Except science, which is cool.
Anything your parents suggest doing will always be boring.
Be somewhat rude to your parents most of the time. Keep kindness for when you want something.
Use phrases like, “you don’t understand!” and “it’s not a big deal!” in most communication with your parents.

I may never know what goes on in his head, and I may never quite be the Mom he thinks I should, but I’ll keep doing my best with what I know and keep loving him for who he is on the outside. And, yes, he will read this because he follows me on Twitter. I hope he gets a laugh, or maybe can let me know if my list is anywhere near accurate.