Life & Such

A Former Vegan’s Guide to Thanksgiving

taintedfishsticks Leave a comment

Hopefully you read my previous two vegan related blogs. If not, go to the home page and read those first. I chuckle to myself (I do that a lot cause I think I’m funny) about the reference in the title that implies I WAS, in fact, vegan. The limited truth is that I sort of technically was for 17 days.

Yes, its true, I gave up on my 28 day vegan detox challenge on day 17. This was after I lost my mind and knew that the only road to sanity was a regular meal. I don’t know if you’ve ever found yourself in a place so foreign or so scary that you thought a panic attack was the least of you worries. I equate it to my first experience walking in to Forever 21 where the colors, patterns, lights, and overall disorganization gave me an instant migraine eye and possibly an aneurism. This is where I was mentally several times during the VD, (more laughing. VD = Vegan Detox) but more so on day 17.

Truth is, somewhere in the Hell that was the VD, I really did learn a few things about health, my digestive system, and my deep rooted issues with food. I learned, first hand, how certain foods actually kick colds before they turn into anything, reduce inflammation, and help me sleep better at night. I found out I’m allergic to tomatoes, raw onions, and potatoes, and that beans give me terrible gas. I lost two pounds and never felt gross or stuffed. And, finally, I realized my food choices have been based so heavily on emotion, that I have some serious work to do.

On the eve of Thanksgiving, and the official beginning of the ‘big show’ called the holiday season, visions of meals, parties, and sugarplums dance around in our heads and take over our t.v.. I never realized how important food really is to the whole show. God forbid you don’t have turkey on Thanksgiving, ham at Christmas, and champagne on New Years. Seriously, the holiday food police WILL show up at your house if you miss a beat. Let me give you something to think about. If glutinous eating is in direct correlation with memories of some of the happiest times of our life, spent with friends and family, doesn’t it make sense that we relate food to happiness? Or, perhaps, if you are like me, food can be the enemy and bring up feelings of insecurity and shame.

What I learned about my relationship to food is complicated. I learned that I want nothing more than to be in total control of what I eat and that I don’t want to believe that any of it is bad for me. I want food to fix my problems as much as I want it to fill my tummy. I am angry about all of the foods that make my face break out my stomach hurt. And, most of all, I want eating healthy to now be called eating ‘normal’ so it doesn’t sound like such a hard thing to do.

How am I guiding you to a proper Thanksgiving? I’m not. In fact, I don’t eat turkey on thanksgiving anymore because I don’t like it. Me and my family go out to dinner and eat steak. We have created our own tradition that fits us, and helps keep me away from some of my issues with food and bad memories as well. In fact, I now look forward to Thanksgiving every year only second to my birthday. My issues aside, I truly do hope everyone has a special tradition and has a tasty and enjoyable ‘turkey day’. Oh, and of you ARE Vegan, I’m sorry if you are eating a blob of tofu this year.

Sometimes I’m Emotional When I Blog

taintedfishsticks 2 Comments

Sometimes I get so frustrated with people I want to punch them in the face.

Sometimes I get so protective of people I love, I want to hug them until they are blue.

Sometimes I wish I could buy everyone happiness, or at least an iPad.

Sometimes I think I’m going insane and there’s just no getting off the crazy train.

Sometimes I wish food was magic and gave instant relief to whatever ails me.

Sometimes I want to kick my cats across the street because they never stop annoying me.

Sometimes I just don’t want to be a grown up and be responsible for all kinds of boring crap.

Sometimes I fail and think I’ll never be good enough.

Sometimes I set expectations no one will ever meet.

Sometimes I keep people at a distance so I don’t get hurt.

Sometimes I watch The Biggest Loser just to have a good cry.

Cause sometimes its just what I need.

The Woes of a Temporary Vegan: Part 1

taintedfishsticks 4 Comments

12 used to be my favorite number. But not today. I have exactly 12 days left of my 28 day Vegan Detox. Yes, if you can believe it, I made it through the first 16 days. I’d like to note that I just had to use a calculator to figure out how many days it’s been. This is because my brain doesn’t work anymore.

I am food deprived. I don’t care what anyone says about all the amazing vegan/gluten/sugar free recipes out there. They are still just combos of veggies, beans, weird grains, and tofu. I might puke if I eat another bean. That, or blow a hole in my pants from farting so much. And I think there’s a reason quinoa is an ‘ancient grain’. Because it’s old skool and needs to stay in the history books. (not that I’ve EVER seen it mentioned)

My pantry is completely foreign to me right now. It’s like I’m living in someone else’s house. I’m having flashbacks to childhood when I’d be afraid to eat at a friend’s because they ate things like ‘Bugles’ and put corn syrup on their pancakes. I open up my fridge and freak out at the sight of tofu and the 14 varieties of ‘alternate milk’ products. And why are they sold in a box? Is almond milk too good for a regular carton?

Did I happen to mention I think my 11 year old son is also starving? I can barely figure out what I’m going to eat, let alone make sure he has food too. This whole vegan thing has caused me to become a neglectful parent. For all I know, he stealing other kids lunches and trading his shoes for slices of pizza. He might have to live off his Halloween candy for the next couple of weeks. And not that I’d notice, because, again, my brain doesn’t work anymore.

I frickin want a piece of cheese. Anything melted will do. I dare not try any of the fake versions for fear I will actually die of total disgust. I have very few principles that I live by, but one definitely is, ‘thou shall not eat imposter meat or dairy products’. This includes tofu shaped like hot dogs or turkey, and rice milk formed into shredded cheese.

I am a lot of things, but I’m certainly not vegan. I’m not sure I even can applaud those who are. I feel they are so restricted and missing out on amazing food. Of course, maybe food isn’t such a big part of their life, like it is mine. And maybe they are more emotionally stable when it comes to accepting alternate protein sources.

What I AM, is particular and stubborn. I’m also a rule follower and rarely give up or back down. I believe I have met my match. The vegan detox may beat me. I am weak, and left with minimal willpower. Cheese enchiladas are calling my name. “Lori! We miss you!”. Did I mention I am also delusional? Clearly.

Why I’ve Gone Vegan and Other Ridiculous Decisions I’ve Made in Life

taintedfishsticks 3 Comments

It’s day one of a 28 day Vegan Detox I am participating in.  For the life of me, I can’t remember WHY I decided to sign up for this.  I even paid a few hundred dollars to participate and bought some interesting supplements that are supposed to help clean out my liver or something.  Part of the reason I can’t figure out why this is happening, is because I feel extremely caffeine and dairy deprived and have been in a bad mood all day.  No, caffeine is not anti-vegan (or whatever you want to call it), but since this is a ‘detox’, caffeine is the bad guy.  Oh, and so is booze and gluten.  Add those up and subtract them from the food world, and you get vegetables, fruits, seeds, nuts, rice, and TOFU.  You might see why I’m crabby.

Prior to starting this challenge, I read a bunch of information about why people choose to eat vegan, or why this is a good way to ‘clean out’ your system.  It all makes sense to me, but doesn’t change the fact that I’ve always thought vegan eating was for NPR listening weirdos.  Yes, be offended, but my favorite brother listens to NPR, he’s a total weirdo, but I still love him.  My point is, I don’t feel like I fit into the vegan category.  Like, if there were tryouts for some sort of vegan sorority, there’s no way I’d make it solely based on my love of hamburgers.

I went to my local co-op yesterday to stock up on organic produce and vegan-friendly ingredients.  I decided I was going to cook my way through this challenge and learn to eat some new things.  There are two things (everything) wrong with this plan.  I don’t really like to cook, and I hate trying new foods.  I grew up eating Top Ramen, Trix, Doritos, and salad.  (Yes, I’ve always liked salad).  It’s taken me 41 years to eat a lot of other foods and even learn how to prepare them in a healthier way.  This, in itself, has been a challenge.  Now take away some of my favorite foods, like coffee and dairy products, and I go into full on meltdown mode.

I know there are lots of people out there who eat vegan on a regular basis, which is great for them.  I’m guessing they also load up on coffee every morning and even eat bread.  This is the start of a short, but annoying journey for me.  One of many I have taken on in my life.  Like, putting an offer on a house we couldn’t afford, getting two cats, and trying to color my own hair when I was eight months pregnant.  I made it through all of these challenges, and more.  Some brought great rewards, many remorse.  Who knows where it will lead, but you better believe I’ll tell you about it.

From Squares to Blogging; How Apple’s Seed Helped Me Grow

Standardtaintedfishsticks 2 Comments

I don’t watch the news, and only find out tidbits of what goes on outside my ‘bubble’ through my Yahoo homepage, and posts on Facebook. Without technology, it’s likely I’d have no clue that anything went on in the world. Like today, when I opened up my browser, and saw that Steve Jobs, Apple co-founder, died today at the age of 56.

In 1983, I was in 8th grade. I remember taking a required computer class where I was exposed, for the first time, to the Apple Computer. It was a medium sized box, with a black screen, flashing rectangular cursor, and green bit map numbers and letters. In class, we were taught how to write a program (code I guess) that would tell the computer to draw lines. The test was to write a program telling the computer to draw a square. I remember being one of the first people to complete the task and thinking, what else do you have for me?

Through most of high school we didn’t use computers, except for keyboarding class. As a Junior, and high school newspaper staff member, we used computers at the old Bellevue ‘Journal American’ to type and print out copy. Then, we ran it through the wax machine and hand pasted layouts that were printed into the ‘Knightlife’. The (olden days) memories of long evenings at the ‘JA’ are a good reminder of how much technology has made the publishing world a lot easier. The following year, when I was the Feature Editor of the paper, our school purchased a few of the Apple II E computers for the journalism department. It was so cool to learn and use Pagemaker to layout our stories and pictures for press.

After high school, if you can believe it, I made it through college without a personal computer. We had access to computers solely for typing papers, which I did a lot of, and had to use the required word processing program issued by the college on a 5.5″ floppy disk. In my last two years of college, in the Interior Design program, we learned a DOS based CAD (Computer Aided Design) program. My early years of learning ‘code’ helped me a lot not only in that class, but in my several years of CAD that followed.

Between high school and somewhere in my thirties, I don’t remember using any Apple products. But at some point, they started showing up at our house. First, my husband was issued a MacBook Pro from work. I mean, from MICROSOFT. He needed to make sure the interface he was designing worked on the Mac. Soon after, our son ‘inherited’ the MacBook, which catapulted his YouTube and general movie making career. Then, when the iPod Touch came out, Santa brought one for our son, followed by one for my husband’s birthday. My son is now on his 2nd MacBook, and, 2 years later, still uses his iPod Touch every single day.

All the while, I have used PCs in the form of desktop and laptop computers. I got an android phone, and occasionally played on the iPod. Until, the release of the iPad. My curiosity stirred for over a year, until I decided it was the perfect tool for writing, something I’ve dreamed of doing for a long time. So, I bought the iPad 2 for my birthday, which, incidentally, is when I really DID start writing. I take it with me everywhere and use it for email, Facebook, looking up recipes, taking notes, helping my son with math and spelling, and, of course, blogging. My true passion in life is to inspire others and make a difference in the world through my writing, and now I have the tool I need to live that out.

Thank you Steve Jobs for your incredible foresight, passion, and innovation that changed the world. Apple, I believe, was the leader in the user friendly computer world, and, I just bet, anyone reading this could write their own story of how this man’s work affected their life.

20111005-193226.jpg

Resisting The Urge To Buy

Standardtaintedfishsticks 3 Comments

What’s the one thing in your life you just can’t resist? Maybe a particular food, drink, or candy? A tv show, or even a person? There are some things we are drawn to in an intense way. Like a magnet even. The taste of a food might spark a favorite memory, or a tv show might bring you to another place where you can forget your crazy life for awhile. Mostly, these things are harmless, but what if the urge is uncontrollable to the point that it takes over rational thought? To the extreme that it affects your future in a negative way.

With my extreme personality, you better believe if I want something, I’m annoyingly persistent about getting it. However, I posses a strong inner voice that will pester me when I am clearly making a bad choice. The dialog between stubborn me and my inner voice might go something like this: Me, “OMG I NEED THAT!” Inner Voice, “No you don’t, the one you have is perfectly fine. It might be old and somewhat ghetto, but it still works. Count your blessings. There are lots of people who would love to have your ghetto item. Besides, what kind of message are you sending if you just spend your money willy nilly? You will appear irresponsible. Why don’t you put that money in savings or….”. I think you get the point. Trouble is, the inner voice rarely wins, and then transforms into remorse.

(Side note to those who know me personally: As annoying as I can be to my friends when it comes to convincing them of something, I’m even more annoying to myself.)

Recently, both my husband and I got the urge to buy a new car. Both our cars are 10 or more years old. One has a gianormous dent, and taped up sunroof. The other smells like, for a better word, ass, and is so compact our 11 year old can barely fit in the back seat anymore. We all groan every time we get into either car, and often wonder if parts might just drop off while driving down the road. The trouble is, for the most part, both cars, with over 145,000 miles each, still run perfectly well. Both our trusted mechanics rave about how great they run.

Regardless, we felt it was time to upgrade at least one of them. With our inner voices yelling as loud as they could against our desire, we moved full force into reasoning. My favorite: Let’s sell the compact diesel that gets 45 plus mpg cause it’s worth more.

Let’s move on and get to the point. How we manage our money directly represents our priorities in life. While this appears to be a harsh statement, don’t react until you fully understand where I’m coming from. There is a direct correlation between managing your money based on basic principles and living a life with financial peace of mind. If you are more focused on living in the moment and disregarding your future, then you likely have stress related to financial worries. You may even fight about money with your spouse, or wonder if you’ll be able to pay your utility bills.

The principles my husband and I live by are based on several years of negative life experience, followed by classes we took, then taught, about telling your money where to go, rather than wondering where it went. The methods in these classes were based on instructions from the Bible, and although you may not be a follower of God, these principles work. I won’t go into much detail, but basically: Give, plan, save, invest, and don’t go in to debt.

How does this work? Give the first 10% of your income. To your church, to a charity, to your school, or someone in need. Make a plan for where the remainder of your income will go BEFORE you spend it. Focus on your basic needs first: food, shelter, clothing, and transportation. If you DO have debt, pay those bills after you’ve taken care of your basic needs. If you are debt free, invest your money for the future and have an emergency fund of 3 to 6 months of your basic need expenses. Keep in mind, there are more specific and chronological steps to this, but they aren’t appropriate for a blog post.

The point? My husband and I spent almost 2 years focusing on eliminating our consumer debt. This included car loans, credit cards, and home equity line of credit. In about 18 months time, we paid off over $26,000 in debt and have never looked back. Because we are debt free (except our mortgage), we are able to give, save, and spend without worry. We decide every month where our money is going to go, and adjust when necessary. We pay cash for everything, and can even impulse buy when we know we have the money available.

Did we buy a new to us car? No. Were we close to doing it? Yes. Why did we choose not to? Simply, we were presented with enough road blocks that we finally snapped out of it. Instead we spent some of our savings on fixing our old ghetto Rover and drove it over 3000 miles through California worry free. And we are thrilled with our decision to remain debt free.

20110929-184155.jpg

Middle School Mom; The Next Generation

taintedfishsticks 2 Comments

On the eve of my son’s first day of middle school, it finally hit me; he’s growing up.

After an over indulgent dinner at Red Robin,(Noah’s choice), we drove home to the tunes on 106.1 and 92.5. Yes, I let my son listen to these stations. Save your judgement. As all three of us were singing/rapping along, I looked back at him. It was in that moment, when I turned back, that I saw him grown up. He looked even older than he really does. I saw him a few years from now, as a high schooler. That moment of morphing hit me hard and caused me to tear up a little.

With every moment and every stage of his life, I’ve been in awe and proud. I was blessed with an amazing kid, an amazing person. He’s the only child I was given, and he’s not a child anymore.

Sappiness pause. Stay tuned.

The first day of school is always a landmark in time. It’s a time of change, of newness, of hope, and a chance to maybe do things a little better this time around. With every grade change, there in lies growth, both physically and developmentally. As parents, we work diligently to make sure we prepare our kids for what’s next, and hope we haven’t messed up too bad.

I remember when Noah was a toddler and pre-schooler. He was up before us every morning and always had a plan for his day. He was happy, excited, and had a love for life. I was jealous of his state of mind. One unspoiled by his sheltered world. Noah starting talking the day he was born, I think. And in that time of his life, he told me everything. And he didn’t just tell me, but sold me on the story with fluctuation in his voice and animation with his body. Life was so interesting to him and he wanted everyone to love it like he did.

Elementary school came quick, and before I knew it, I was putting him on a school bus on the very first day of kindergarten. A bus that would take him clear into town. My little baby jumped on and rode away, like it was no big deal. This was HIS time, and he was ready for it. I cried hard that day. Tears of sadness, and joy.

The rest of his elementary school ‘career’ was spent close to home in our neighborhood school. I spent a lot of time with him during that time, and buried myself deep in volunteer activities to make sure that school was running just right. Near the end of his 5th grade year, I started feeling that sense of loss, knowing that my time was near. The time where, I too, would have to leave elementary school behind.

Our kids’ school experience isn’t always just about them. We tend to develop a sense of our identity based on where they are in life. Many times we leave our own self behind and get a little too involved in what is happening with them. Maybe we are reliving that time in our lives, or maybe we just have nothing better to do. The day we became moms, our whole lives and purpose changed. And, somewhere along the way, we might have gotten a little too carried away.

It’s our job to nurture our kids, to love them unconditionally, and to prepare them for life. With no training, and just life experience under our belt, we all do this to the very best of our abilities. Sometimes its hard to recognize that our kids are maturing. They seem to do this a lot faster than we want them too. When we catch ourselves enabling, or just smothering our kids, we have to take a step back and realize the pain of change is tough, but worth the growth in our kids (and ourselves).

I’m not sure I realized how much of a change would happen from 5th to 6th grade. No longer will my son be in the protected walls of the elementary school, and I won’t be there making sure everything is running right. He’s at a school now with outside classroom entrances, lockers, PE uniforms, dances, and high schoolers on the bus. He has 7 teachers, a zip up binder, and and loaded up lunch card so he won’t be calling me if he forgets his lunch. On cross country days, I won’t see him until almost 5 o’clock, like he’s been off at work all day.

I have no doubt that he is prepared for this new season in his life. The question is, am I? Its time for me to refocus on myself, and what I can do for this world, while Noah is off preparing to do the same. Even if I don’t know all of his thoughts and plans, I look forward now to even tidbits of information he gives. He’s not that talkative pre-schooler anymore. He likes to pick and choose what he shares with me, just like every other pre-teen.

With the new school year, and a new school for my son, it’s time to let go more than just a little. I wasn’t allowed to walk him to the school bus, and only got in a couple of pictures of the first day outfit. He got up on his own, showered, dressed, and even made his breakfast. He checked his email and headed off to the bus stop. The very same bus stop I stood and watched him ride off that first day of kindergarten.

20110830-084653.jpg

The Biggest Loser…A Year Later

taintedfishsticks 5 Comments

I just realized it’s been exactly one year ago today that I did my final ‘dunk’ for the Ridge Summer Fitness Challenge. It was the end of 8 grueling and life changing weeks that took over literally my entire summer. Some of you joined me in the competition and some just followed my progress and weekly blogging. Throughout the challenge, my life changed physically, mentally, and spiritually.

My personal growth is attributed mostly to the fact that I took on a challenge that scared the crap out of me. I dislike exercise, and hate watching what I eat. I had to find a way to control the situation when I felt completely vulnerable. So, I asked for help. I worked with a nutritionist and met with a trainer, but, most of all, I prayed, and ask God to walk this journey out with me and give me the strength that I did not posses myself.

With God, my husband, and friends at my side, I took the challenge on the only way I knew how. ALL IN. I used the expression, “balls to the wall”, and lived that out. I don’t do anything half ass, and I DON’T like to lose. My personal strategy was to do everything possible to win. Along the way, I learned that also meant encouraging and inspiring others and not just focusing on myself.

After years of feeling unhealthy and a bit overweight, I exceeded my goals and won the competition. But, what I really won, was the renewed belief in myself.

So, here I am today, still feeling a renewed me, but carrying a heavy burden of disappointment, with a side of disbelief. You see, I’ve gained some of that weight back that I worked so hard to lose. And I’m feeling like it’s not possible for me to be “balls to the wall” again. That was really a one time deal. But, since I have a personality of extremes, I don’t know how to tackle this ‘one day at a time’.

I have some reasons or ‘excuses’ as to why I’ve put on a few. Everything from an injury, to our ‘extended winter’. Let’s just combine all of those into the bucket of ‘depression’. The king of all evils in my life who takes hold of me oh so easily. In a weird way, I think I let it take over, so I don’t have to really be accountable for anything at all.

My point? I want to feel that drive to exercise and eat well. I want to encourage and inspire others through my actions. I want to redeem myself and not feel like a disappointment to others who look to me as a role model. I want to find a way to beat this. I want to get off this hamster wheel and win the fight against this reoccurring battle with myself.

20110816-073724.jpg

41 is the new 15

taintedfishsticks Leave a comment

Haven’t you heard? 40 is the new 30 and 30 is the new 20! What in the world does that even mean? I really think it’s a way to soften the blow about the reality of getting older. A 40 year old body is still technically 40, and I know for sure my body was ‘younger’ at 30 than it is now.

It’s been said that age is a matter of how you feel inside. I guess they mean emotionally, or perhaps maturity has something to do with it. When I really started to think about it this way, it made a lot more sense to me. And when I reflected on my past, I came to the conclusion that 20 was the new 30, 30 is the new 50, and 41 is the new 15.

Throughout my life I’ve experienced many depressing times. Depression runs in the family, along with youthful skin. It all balances out, right? Not only during periods of depression, but also periods of personal growth, have I felt a different emotional age than physical one.

I have to say when I was ‘in my 20’s’ I felt like I needed to be older than I was. Don’t get me wrong, I was still reckless and immature, but I had my sights set on a certain life, and was working hard to be the person I thought I was meant to be. Just after my 20th birthday, my dad died. I reacted like any other YOUNG person would, business as usual and continued to keep things going as if nothing had changed. Becoming emotional would have been the immature way to handle it.

As I continued to ‘grow up’, I got my first and second career jobs, got married, bought a house,and had a baby. I was on the perfect path, and had achieved all of this before my 30th birthday. Somewhere along the way, I forgot about myself. I continued on the path of success and let go of the journey to true happiness. I grew up too fast because I thought that’s who I was.

My 30s were tough. Emotional and spiritual growth were knocking hard at my door. More life lessons than I ever wanted to learn were thrust in front if me on a constant basis. All the things I had worked for and that fit into my perfect plan were falling apart. Marriage, career, friendships, growing my family, health, finances, and more. Without all these things, I had no clue who I was. To be honest, I have almost no recollection of that entire decade of my life.

Starting at about age 36, the reality of turning 40 really hit me hard. My body was freaking out in all kinds of ways which made me feel like I was just around the corner of old age. I felt so physically and emotionally weak, and I let it get the best of me most of the time. I saw that looming number as a road block to any further growth or happiness in my life. I might as well have been inviting death to come over and rid me of my misery.

Those next three years were pivotal in my life, and I can’t imagine where I would be today if God had not interceded this mess by placing some incredible people in my life. Through these amazing people, I learned again who I really was and what my purpose on this earth is. I have a burden on my heart to help people, and my work here is no where near complete.

The summer of my 40th birthday was incredible! I took control of my physical and mental health with God at my side. It was a celebration of my life that I have yet to live. One that I don’t need to plan anymore. That’s already been done for me.

I remember my 15th birthday well. It was the last sleepover party I had. Several of you who will read this were there. We played at Coulon Beach Park all day, dressed in matching Gorton’s t shirts, courtesy of my dad, grubbed on hamburgers, and slept outside in my backyard. It was a celebration of my life with my best girlfriends and my family. It was a pivotal year for me and a lot changed over that last year. I grew up emotionally and loved who I was.

So today, on my 41st birthday, I can honestly say, 41 is the new 15.

Friendship and the Gift of Life

taintedfishsticks 2 Comments

Today’s blog is dedicated to a couple of incredible people. Tracy Webb Olson and Candy Collins Brown. They are two women I am honored to know, but what they mean to each other is more than life itself.

I don’t know how long Tracy and Candy have known each other, because I met each of them for the first time in high school. I do know they were incredible friends to each other. Flash forward almost 25 years since graduation. The two are still friends even though they live across the country from each other. And this week, one has made the trek to save the other’s life.

Without knowing any technical or medical details, I can tell you that Tracy suffers from kidney disease and failure. This, unfortunately, runs in her family. I believe her twin brother, as well as her father, have both had kidney transplants. Just a few years after her twin’s surgery, her kidneys failed as well. Tracy has been on dialysis for over a year (maybe more). I emailed with her a bit over the last several months, and found out she was on a 5 year waiting list to receive a kidney.

After learning this, I started to research the process for live donation. It’s interesting to know, that, in a nutshell, the kidney dialysis lobbyists spend a lot of time and money making sure that information on live organ donation is not easy to find. This information was disheartening to me. I couldn’t believe that many lives have probably been lost because they never made it through the wait list period.

I prayed a lot for Tracy, and even considered checking to see if I was a match. God was clear to me that this was not my gift to give. And I understand perfectly today why He said that.

When I saw Candy 3 years ago at our 20 year high school graduation, I learned that she had MS. From what I remember, she was on medication, and overall having good days and bad. I think it was about a year later Candy learned, from a second opinion, she did NOT have MS. Either she never had it, or was miraculously cured.

Candy has flown across the country and is preparation today to give one of her kidneys to her longtime friend Tracy. The gift of friendship is one that is precious. The gift of life from your friend is God’s work on this earth. I don’t believe if Candy still had MS, she would be able to donate. I like to believe this is all God’s plan.

God loves every soul on this earth, so whether you believe in him, or just believe in saving lives, please pray tomorrow for Candy, for Tracy, and for ever medical professional involved in the surgery. Pray for life, for Tracy and for Candy and that God’s hands will be there guiding the doctors.

Tracy, you are an incredible gift to this earth, and to every person you encounter. You are loved and we all can’t wait for you to be healed. Candy, you too have an incredible soul. You have overcome sickness of your own, and are here, selflessly, saving your friend’s life.