Month: March 2013

Finding the ‘Good’ in Friday

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It’s Good Friday today. For most of my life I didn’t understand what that meant. I certainly didn’t understand that the literal significance of history on this day was anything but good. And even as I began my walk with Jesus, I maintained my ignorance regarding the ‘good’ of the day. You see, Jesus died on the cross on Good Friday. He was wrongfully punished by the world. He was perfect. He was without sin. But he took the worst punishment of all; death. Even though he didn’t ‘deserve’ it. It was God’s plan for him, however. And as God’s one and only son, he trusted Him. No matter what.

In all his perfection, Jesus was viewed, by many, as a terrible person. As a threat to the world. He was persecuted beyond belief. To death, actually. And he took it. He took it all. And he used EVERY one of these experiences to God’s advantage. He let every one know that his faith NEVER wavered. And he never stopped loving every single person, despite their imperfections.

When we choose to follow Christ, we are promising God to follow His commandments. Mostly, we are promising to love one another. Which sometimes means taking a beating when we are wrongfully accused. Putting aside our pride for humility. Loving others ANYWAY, even when they have hurt us. And forgiving others when they stomp on our heart.

Christ doesn’t ask us to be doormats to the world, but to be DIFFERENT in spite of what the world brings us. To show kindness, compassion, and love, just as He did. He dealt with more awfulness than I will ever see in my lifetime on earth, but he never stopped his mission to help others and to show them God’s love. And then he died for us. ALL of us. So that all of our sins would be forgiven and that we would have the opportunity for new life. A life free of our past sins. And this is why today is Good. And why God uses all tough situations for good. He doesn’t promise a worry free life. But he promises to use these experiences, no matter how tragic, for the Good of all of us.

If you don’t know the story of Good Friday, be like me and look it up. Here is some great scripture you can read. Luke 23 From the Bible. Which is historical fact, in case you didn’t know. Cause I didn’t years ago, and I like things that are facts. Because I believe them.

And, just so you know, I’m not just writing about Good Friday because it seems like the ‘right’ thing to do. I’m writing because today has NOT been a ‘good’ day. And my family is feeling personally today that persecution. And our natural tendency (sin) leads me to immediately want to retaliate. To say, “YOU ARE WRONG!!!” But my faith in Christ tells me otherwise. It reminds me that, “…in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28. And by trusting Him, and following Him, He will redeem this situation for good. And that’s more of a challenge than anything else in front of me right now.

I pray that today you might get a sense of who God is in a new way. I pray that you are encouraged to learn a little more. I pray that this Easter weekend, which brings Christ’s resurrection gives you hope in God’s Word. I pray that you understand that God is for ALL of us. And He loves YOU. And He wants you to know the love and peace that can come only from him.

Living the Uncomfortable Life

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I skipped my morning bible study reading because I told myself I was going to write today. I had a fabulous blog all thought out in the middle of the night. Of course, I haven’t a clue what it was about now. Even my 13-year-old tells me I need to keep a journal by my bed to record these ideas. I’m not sure when I will come to terms with the fact that my brain is such a jumble most of the time, I can’t possibly keep extra ideas in there for more than a few minutes. So, I’m going to write about what’s on my mind, right this minute.

The ‘jumble’, that is my mind, is on overload lately. I’m pretty sure when I speak to people it’s evident. I talk in circles and probably never really express what I’m trying to. And I want so much to let people know what I’m thinking. I what them to learn from my mistakes and wins. I want them to know they are loved. I want them to know I’m praying for them in a real intense way. I want them to know that I’m in this mess of life with them, and I want to make them laugh.

What am I talking about? Right. Circles again. I’m talking about the fact that my mind and my heart are pulled in so many directions right now, that I can’t give much of anything TO anything, or anyone. I asked God very clearly this year to bring me out of my ‘regular’ life, and challenge me. I told him I would trust him to carry me beyond my fears. I told him I was done living the ‘safe’ life and I wanted to know what else He had for me. That, in itself, what a bold step of faith. I mean, we ask God for lots of things, like help with a problem, to heal the sick, to mend a relationship, and to bring certain joy. But, how often do we ask him for MORE than what’s in front of us? How often do we tell him, ‘okay God, I know you have great things for me, so I’m gonna just wait here and let you handle things from now on’? Well, for me, I can honestly say I NEVER asked him for more.

Well, he’s answered my prayer. In a huge way. And, I can honestly say, my faith is wavering. My trust in Him presenting me with new opportunities is not solid. I feel he’s put me on overload. He’s given me MORE than I can handle. He’s doing exactly what I asked him and I’m all, “Wait! I’m not sure you totally understood what I asked you. I mean, I WANT what you want for me, but I probably need to be eased into it s-l-o-w-l-y.’

You know sometimes when you talk (or write) something out, the ridiculousness of your emotions hits you in the face? Well, mine just did. DUH! Look what I just wrote! God ANSWERED my prayer. He did EXACTLY what I asked. But, I haven’t received his answer with the full amount of faith that is required. And, He’s not surprised. He knew exactly what I would do. I would turn it into an overwhelming situation and FREAK OUT. He also knew I would waver in my faith in him, which allows Satan to creep into that ‘jumble’. But he doesn’t just ‘creep’ in, he JUMPS in. Full force. He uses self-doubt, confusion, and even sickness to drag me down.

But, what God also knew was that just the ASKING part was an incredible step in my faith. And He knows that it’s just enough for me to hang on to him for the ride. And it’s gonna be a FAST and bumpy one. And I’m NOT ready. And I’m freaked out. And that leaves me vulnerable. I have a choice to fix my eyes on Him anyway. I have a choice to reject the negative talk, and the push of Satan who wants me to fall back into my ‘regular’ life. And I have the choice to say ‘no’ to it all and get back into my comfort zone.

The truth is, I feel like I’m floating above the ground right now. That nothing is nailed down and nothing is safe. Nothing is ‘normal’ and everything is off-balance. So, I’m pretty sure this is all part of God’s plan, but I’d be okay if this weird floaty part would end very soon. And I want to have my eyes wide open when it does so I can understand what He’s doing, and bring my faith in Him back up to where it needs to be.

”For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11

Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark

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We had these next door neighbors growing up that had HBO. This may not seem shocking, except that is was the early 80’s. They had a huge antenna on top of OUR roof, just so they could get the signal. They recorded every single movie and had a huge alphabetized and cataloged VHS collection. It was like having Blockbuster right next door, but free (to us). I was about 11 years old and the neighbors were 1 and 3 years younger than me. We watched TONS of scary movies. TONS. Movies like “Halloween” (still freaks me out), and “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark” (the original). I have to tell you, I HATE scary movies. In fact, I still freak myself out when it’s dark in the house. Admittedly, I don’t step anywhere on the floor close to my bed if it’s dark. I take an extra-large step so that nothing can grab my ankles from under the bed. Yes, I do this. Yes, I’m 42.  I don’t know why I watched all those movies and I don’t know where any of our parents were. I won’t even watch cop shows because I freak out so much. I probably need some sort of hypnosis to remove the still fresh images of some of those films.

As a kid, movies pretty much encompassed all that I thought I was afraid of. They were tangible, and spoke to that certain fear part of the brain. But, what I didn’t realize, is that I was afraid pretty much all of the time, of everything. I was afraid of failure, rejection, sickness, loss, security, and insignificance.  I muddled my way through those years holding on to a thin thread of hope, and always wondering when it would finally snap.  I didn’t even know what that thread was made of, or who held the other end of it. And I so wish that I did.

In my early 30’s, I caught a glimpse of the other end of that string. It was God. But I didn’t understand really who he was and why he’d been helping me my whole life. I just knew if I kept seeking him, somehow that thread would strengthen and become my lifeline. And several years later, with continued seeking, it has become just that.  What I didn’t know, was that Satan is the one who has been running with scissors, chasing me my whole life, with only one mission: to cut that line.

If you are a Christ follower, you might know that the stronger your relationship with Jesus, the more Satan wants to take you down.  I guess that’s why some of the stuff that happened to me before I knew Jesus was not that awful. And, of course, everyone’s awful is completely different. God wanted me so much that he protected me all these years, even when I didn’t acknowledge him. And, when I did, that pissed Satan off majorly.  He brought out those big guns. The ones he started using on me when I was growing up. He tied into all my biggest fears.  You know, failure, rejection, sickness, loss, security, and insignificance. The thing is, he’s actually super crafty, because you wouldn’t think your negative inner voice and low self-worth come from somewhere else. In fact, most people think these thoughts are totally valid, and that the world determines our worth. We believe these to be 100% true. And that’s the crafty part of it, because they are 100% false.

Truth comes only from God. And his truth lives in the Bible. No where that I’ve seen does the Bible talk about how we aren’t able to be a whole person if someone rejects us, or if we lose something or someone in our life. The Bible doesn’t tell us to muddle along life being careful and mediocre because we might fail. It doesn’t tell us we’d better wait until we are fully prepared to start following God’s calling for our life. And it certainly doesn’t say you’d better be sure to follow what everyone else is doing in order to be accepted and loved.

With God on our side, our fears are moot. He promises that he’s already prepared us for what we are supposed to do. He’s prepared us to be significant. Even if we don’t realize it. He won’t send us a detailed list of all the things he’s laid out. But he will be there as you to step out in Faith and do it anyway. Do it blindly. “Do it afraid.” (Joyce Meyer)

The only thing stopping us from stepping out of our comfort zone is our Fear. And Fear comes only from Satan. And God is more powerful than he is. And God is on your side; he’s on your team. He’s holding your hand as you jump of the cliff into the unknown. And he isn’t letting go. And Fear is left behind.

You wouldn’t know it, but I’m afraid to write. I’m afraid it won’t be good enough. I’m afraid it will be useless. I’m afraid of being useless. I’m afraid of crossing the street at an intersection. I’m afraid of calling people and ordering pizza. I’m afraid to ask dumb questions. I’m afraid to accept some truths about myself. I’m afraid of saying I’m sorry. I’m afraid of forgiveness. I’m afraid of giving my heart away. I’m afraid I’m not good enough for anyone or anything. I’m afraid to share my faith. I’m afraid I’m a failure as a wife and a mother. I’m afraid of saying the wrong thing.

I asked God this year to bring me challenges. To open doors that had super scary things on the other side. To help me face the boogie man under the bed. I told him I trusted him enough to bust through my fear and that He would protect me. And, wouldn’t you know it, he’s doing just what I asked. And, of course, this freaks me out. But, just like he said, he’s prepared me for this. In ways I never understood at the time. And I AM taking those steps (most of the time), and I found out that even in the scary, I feel calm. In fact, pushing past the fear (defeating it) makes me feel super good!

It’s time to stop being afraid of the dark. Of the lies. And start stepping out in Faith so that you can see the Truth that is waiting.

What are you afraid of? Do you feel called to do something that totally freaks you out? If so, it’s probably exactly what God wants you to do.